The first phase of the work has a rule that changes everything: we don't start with what you lack. We start with what's already there.
Nobody starts from zero in any competency. The composure you think you don't have has come out of you at some point. The brave conversation you avoid, you once had. The decision you're postponing today, you once made. The starting point isn't your deficit; it's your exception.
This matters because whatever is built on the deficit («I'm hopeless at delegating, I have to change») lasts as long as willpower lasts. Whatever is built on the exception («I've already done it; what made it possible») rests on your own evidence. You're not trying to become someone else. You're giving more room to someone you have already been at some point, someone you already are at times.
How to do it well: find a concrete, recent scene where the competency came out. Not a period. Not an opinion about yourself. A scene. With a place, a moment and people. Then squeeze it without hurry: what you did differently, what made it possible, where you felt it in your body, what happened afterwards in the others. Crito will walk you through it, one question at a time.
The traps of this phase are three. False modesty: «that doesn't count, it was luck». It counts. The generic scene: «I usually…». Usually is not a scene. And the rush into action. Not yet. First you have to savour the exception until you understand it.
You know the phase is done when you can tell your exception in detail and say which conditions made it possible. Those conditions are your map. The rest of the work is about reproducing them on purpose.