You have understood it a thousand times. And you keep doing the same thing.
It isn't a lack of intelligence. It isn't a lack of willpower. It is that insight, on its own, doesn't change behaviour.
Understanding your pattern and letting it go are two different things. And between one and the other there is a bridge you can't cross by thinking.
Your pattern survives for two reasons, and neither is laziness.
The first: it gives you something. That is the hidden reward. Controlling gives you safety. Pleasing spares you rejection. Not deciding protects you from exposure. Showing yourself invulnerable spares you feeling need. Being exceptional protects you from feeling small. Holding others up spares you looking at your own need.
While that gain is still there, letting go of the pattern is lived as a loss, not as a release.
The second reason is subtler: beneath what you say you want, there is a competing commitment that protects it.
You say "I want to delegate", but a part of you is committed to never exposing yourself to someone else's mistake. You say "I want to set limits", but another part is committed to not disappointing. You say "I want to be more vulnerable", but something in you is still committed to never needing.
The two forces pull at once, in opposite directions. That is why you stay put, with one foot on the accelerator and the other on the brake.
While you only understand it, the hidden commitment will keep winning in silence.
What moves the needle is not understanding more. It is risking a new behaviour, small and concrete. Putting the belief to the test in real life. Discovering, not just thinking, what happens when you don't control, when you say no, when you don't rescue, when you ask, when you stay quiet, when you let yourself be seen.
Change comes through experience, not through reasoning.
Understanding that isn't tested in real life transforms nothing. It just makes you feel you are making progress.
To notice: what have you been understanding about yourself for years without changing it? What do you gain, exactly, by staying as you are?
To try this week: take your next "I already know that" and turn it into a concrete experiment. Small, visible and verifiable. Something you can do differently before the week is out.